Time for another flash fiction piece with the Friday Fictioneers, as hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. This week, I’ve hit the 100 word target on the nose.
Her dress, pink and foamy, would have looked well in a sundae glass. The shoes, though, were serious. Black and heeled, they lent her height that wasn’t hers and a demeanour I knew she meant to keep.
‘Leopards?’ she said, as the shoes took her, arm-in-arm with him, down the veranda steps into the half-dark.
He shrugged. ‘Lions too. And wild dog.’
Watching, I saw how she let him push her up against a tree. And, as they kissed, I smelt what she smelt: Pears soap, leather, sun-saturated clothes and a strong, clean animal scent that wasn’t me at all.
*
For other 100-word stories following the same photo prompt, look here.
No Frigate like a book 
I’m very curious about the narrator. Who is this person? One who experienced the same thing with the same guy? Why is this person watching them? And more important, why?
LikeLike
Very mysterious…
LikeLiked by 1 person
An enigma – or possibly a hunting dog or leopard, depending on whose comment you read 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha! That’s awesome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Powerful and evocative writing. I suspect the narrator is a hunting dog, but I secretly hope it’s her husband.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A hunting dog? Aha, good idea!
LikeLike
Dear Louise,
I’m also mystified by who the narrator might be. Obviously someone with a strong sense of smell. Great descriptions.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it’s a thwarted lover (or would-be lover) but definitely someone who imagines they have a powerful sense of smell.
LikeLike
Love the descriptions the foamy dress, the height that wasn’t hers and how the shoes took her down the veranda. I do wonder who the narrator was, I was thinking a past lover.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so, too (probably…) Glad you liked the descriptions!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I saw the narrator as the man. It appears to me that he is not who she thinks he is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ooh, hadn’t thought of this. Like the idea!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was thinking the narrative was from the predator!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, it could be – and I do quite like the idea. I’m just not sure I can write myself into an animal’s head…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Black and heeled, they lent her height that wasn’t hers and a demeanour I knew she meant to keep.”
I loved that line! Great piece of writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Amie. I really appreciate your reading and the nice comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I too saw the narrator as the man, but was confused by the fact the narrator was ‘watching’. Loved the descriptions.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you – and sorry for the confusion. But, if it helps, I think I may be almost as confused!
LikeLike
Excellent! I loved the descriptions that incorporated a second sense in addition to the visual impact of the scene. Had to read it twice to savour it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ah, thank you so much, Sandra. That’s lovely to hear.
LikeLike
l truly loved this as well. The descriptions, the scents, everything. I don’t know who the narrator is either and I like that mystery!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent. I am very happy to hear this, Dale. Thank you:-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
An intriguing take on the prompt. Is it an animal watching them?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a nice idea but, no, I don’t think so. Just someone rather animal-like in their instincts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah! That’s an interesting way to see it.
LikeLike
I love this! So much mystery. Sights, smells, and unwritten sounds that I could still hear as she went down the stairs.
And that opening! Wowzeers!!!! So well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Alicia. I’m really glad you liked it.
LikeLike