Photograph © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
When she saw him opening his mouth, she pressed her nose to the window and stared at the ponies pulling at their hay in the field.
‘Father’s dead.’
‘Oh.’ The ponies were clouded with snow but their tails dripped and their warm bodies steamed.
‘Haven’t you anything else to say?’ His hand tugged at her arm as if he hoped to shake it out of her.
‘Good?’
She regretted the question mark even before the little word had turned to condensation on the glass.
*
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Love the line about the question mark. Excellent.
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Thank you 🙂
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There are layers within that which remain mysterious. But the atmosphere and the tension of the moment ring through. I can’t help but feel that what follows is going to be complicated
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Yes, I think it probably is.
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I liked that ending, the regret about the question mark. The impact lay there. Nicely done.
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Glad you liked it. Thank you for reading.
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A simple scene with so many complicated layers behind it. Certainly leaves the reader with lots to think about. Excellent.
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And the writer…..!
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This is a lot to get through. Nice job!
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Thank you for reading and for the nice comment.
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Dear Louise,
It’s for certain, Father is not missed. A lot of story between the lines. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nope, I don’t believe he is!
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So much to ponder, great writing.
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Very nice of you to say so, Michael. Thank you.
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So much told in silence, and even more in a question.. love how you tied to the background of the horses.
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It was too hard not to tie it to the horses. I like horses, me. You certainly wouldn’t catch me eating one 😉
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I enjoyed this throughout but that last line is perfection, I’m jealous of it
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That’s lovely to hear. Very glad you liked it 🙂
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Ditto what Rochelle said, and Michael, and Iain and …. Great writing.
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Ah, thank you Alicia. And thank you for reading.
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Dark? Dark…!
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